During my many years in family law practice, I’ve found the difficult process of divorce often helps good parents become extraordinary ones. As a parent considers family priorities and the needs of their children, they gain insight into their values and goals.

One of the fundamental questions in discussing the needs of children during divorce is, “What is the parental ability of the individual seeking custody?”

Of course, this is a wide-ranging subject that includes understanding children’s developmental needs and the parent’s willingness to adapt to the child’s needs over time. Think about all the aspects of successfully raising healthy children and providing for their physical, intellectual, and emotional needs.

Understanding Developmental Needs

A child’s journey from infancy to adolescence includes complex developmental stages, each with unique needs. A parent who understands these stages can explain how their parenting adjusts as the child matures.

For instance, you’ll play games when a child is young to promote large and small motor development, arrange playdates, and finger paint, perhaps. Choosing a preschool and childcare requires research and time.

As children grow, each stage has different needs. A parent must learn about proper nutrition, social development, and health care at all ages. Do you have relationships with your child’s pediatrician and dentist? Are you aware of vaccination schedules?

Then, as the child enters elementary school, involvement shifts to homework and encouraging participation in sports, music, and hobbies while being aware of their child’s interests.

As parents, we recognize our kids are becoming unique individuals and help them follow their interests as they mature.

Age-Specific Needs and Parental Planning

As children grow into their school years, parents must explore educational options to fit a child’s learning style and needs.

Extracurricular activities involve parents, too. Based on the child’s interests and talents, the parent will investigate sports, music lessons, or coding classes, which require time, money, and, often, lots of driving.

Recognizing that children have different needs at various ages is paramount. Parents of young children may focus on creating a stable routine that provides a sense of security.

But children’s emotional needs change. Adolescents, in particular, require a different approach to communication — one that respects their growing autonomy yet provides clear guidance and support. A parent learns to navigate these changing dynamics by establishing regular check-ins and offering counsel while honoring the teen’s sense of independence.

Communication and Problem-Solving

The way a parent communicates with their child is a window into their ability to provide a stable and supportive environment. Open, honest, and age-appropriate communication fosters trust and helps a child develop their voice. When you actively listen and encourage your child to express feelings and thoughts, it lays the groundwork for practical problem-solving skills.

For example, you might use a disagreement over screen time to teach about balance and self-regulation. This approach resolves the immediate issue and equips the child with valuable life skills.

Prioritizing Child Well-Being

At the heart of this discussion is the parent’s prioritization of the child’s well-being. A parent might choose a job with flexible hours to be available for school events or move to a community with better educational resources.

A parent’s planning and decision-making process should reflect a dedication and thorough understanding of the child’s best interests. Adults must consider the child’s perspective and create an environment where the child feels valued and understood.

Part of the family strategy should include having a support network established. Will you include close relatives in the child’s life and be willing to get professional guidance when needed? Thinking about these things before you need them shows your commitment to your child’s well-being.

You know that planning for your child’s future involves more than deciding where they will spend summer vacation and birthdays. And it’s not just about being present; being a great parent includes being engaged, informed, and thinking ahead as your child develops.

Demonstrating an understanding of developmental stages in the child’s best interest at heart speaks volumes in custody considerations.

The team at Lazar Law can help with all the details of child custody in a divorce or other family law situation. Whether you need help with negotiation or litigation, we have the experience to help you overcome challenging issues so you and your children can move on to a fulfilling life.